Reason and Child Sex Abuse
by Stephen Ralston
Issue 97 - December 12, 2007

In regard to Carey Roberts' "4 Year-old Sex Fiends," first, let me be perfectly clear on one issue. "ANY" abuse of a child, in any form, by an adult, is not only pathetic, its disgusting, its revolting, its irresponsible, its illegal, its immoral, and most of all, its unacceptable! There are NO if, ands, or buts, it is totally unacceptable. Personally, it makes me sick to my stomach that an adult would do anything like that to a child.

However, there must be an injection of basic common sense into this issue. When a kid hugs an aide, "longer than someone feels is appropriate," we need to try to understand what that means exactly. A kid, who may or may not have had a bad day on the playground, may or may not be facing difficult times at home as Mom and Daddy argue over finances or whatever, sometimes needs to hang onto an adult, authority figure, a person they trust, and feel safe with. Kids love to hug when their feelings are in turmoil. And to assert there is something wrong with that is in and of itself suspect.

Roberts reported, "Last year a pre-schooler in Waco, Tex. hugged a female aide as he boarded the school bus. The four-year-olds embrace lingered a bit long, and soon the boy was required to defend himself from a charge of sexual harassment. The scarlet letter of "inappropriate physical contact" is now stamped on the child's school records." Now lets be real here folks. A "PRE-SCHOOLER" is accused of inappropriate sexual conduct for hugging an aide? Comeon. Get real!

It is also reported, "Middle school students in McMinnville, Ore. designated Fridays as Slap Butt Day. Those days 'pretty much we would just go around slapping people's butts,' recounted Megan Looney. But one day the local police got wind of the racy activities. They came in and arrested 12-year-old Ryan Cornelison and 13-year-old Cory Mashburn, charging each with five counts of felony sex abuse. Six times the teenage boys were subjected to a strip search. Six days later they were released from jail. Then it took the judge six months to hear a motion to dismiss the case, even though the 'victims' had signed affidavits saying they wanted the charges to be dropped."

There is no way these kids were conducting "FELONY SEX ABUSE" in their school tradition of "slap butt day." It may be childish, but there are kids here. It may be inappropriate. But these are kids here. If they had been repeatedly warned, if they had faced disciplinary actions previously, if their hands had lingered & they felt up the party slapped, "THEN" you "MIGHT" have a case.

A school administrator justifies these actions as follows, "It's important to understand a child may not realize that what he or she is doing may be considered sexual harassment, but if it fits under the definition, then it is, under the state's guidelines."

It seems to me the state has issued "guidelines" that are incredibly oppressive, repressive, restrictive, and draconian in the wording and the implication, while not even looking at any part of the circumstances behind such activities or actions. Someone has simply written a "rule" and made it so ambiguous that almost any contact at all could be called or labeled sexual and misconduct. Its overly broad and apparently designed to create an atmosphere of fear. It is also designed to cast a huge net in order to develop some sort of justification for the law or guidelines.

Definitions of sexual misconduct are required if "kids" are to be included in such issues. And if the age of a child is not considered, then what we have is someone making rules, laws, or guidelines who are looking to suppress the activities of others based on their own internal problems. Perhaps those folks were themselves abused. Perhaps they felt then they were taken advantage of. Perhaps a bully got to them so by creating this set of guidelines they can "get back" at them.

Tagging a child as a sexual predator, especially before even puberty has set in, is irrational and incredibly excessive. In fact, it is way overboard! And such guidelines need to be thoroughly repudiated and expunged from the records as an enforceable anything. Up to the age of adult consent, we need to be extremely careful what we call sexual predator. We need to be careful we have not so repressed a kid for whatever reason that we create a dysfunctional adult in the process.

It is difficult to accept the logic we label a "kid" a sexual predator, but abortion proponents do not want parents informed if their minor child seeks an abortion. For that minor girl to be pregnant, she had to have been raped. Young girls may participate in sexual activities as young as 10 or 12. But, if that child becomes pregnant, then "the law" and especially "the parents" have a legal and moral obligation to be informed and to investigate the circumstances. And if the child was made pregnant by someone in their majority, then criminal rape charges must be filed. If a 17 year old gets his 15 year old girlfriend pregnant, then we have a familial issue that both families need to deal with. But such actions are not criminal. They are foolish and should have not happened, but they are not criminal.

If we did more to convince kids to abstain from sex, we may avoid many of those circumstances. Just giving them condoms and counseling them on safe sexual practices is not legally, morally, or logically, enough. In fact, failure to counsel abstinence is irresponsible and should never be permitted. If you are going to give kids condoms, you must also give them the best advice possible and that is, wait until you are married or at least until you are sure the one you are with cares about you. But definitely wait until you are 18 or older!

We cannot deal with these issues from two so incredibly extreme positions. Prosecutions of children for hugging or slapping butt day or pinching of butts, is excessive. Failing to report to parents their minor girl child is pregnant and wants an abortion, is just as excessive. While the pregnant child still may have the last word as to whether she will abort her baby, her parents have a right to know she is pregnant and perhaps to even have a day or so to discuss the issue with her. She needs counseling, not a hiding place. If Mom and Dad are problems or abusive, that will be revealed as part of that process. But by not telling Mom and Dad, all the state has done is feed irresponsible citizens behavior, to the extreme.

Logic, common sense, and a bit of reason need to be employed on this issue, before we become so paranoid about it that healthy sex becomes a problem for everyone!