Letter from Iraq

Momma,
My hands are shaking. Not for any particular reason, mind you, that’s just apparently what they do these days. It looks like I am facing a couple more base changes before I come home to visit so prepare for spotty communication. I am going to go help out on some teams for a little bit, again.

You asked what I wanted to do on leave; I thought about it for a little while and decided that I want to do a whole lotta nothing. That’s right, nothing, maybe see a movie, go swimming, then more nothing-it’s going to be awesome. I have no desire to go skydiving or anything like that (though even if I did, I am not allowed to engage in any high risk behaviors.)

I have to sit through a couple of briefings before I come home and fill out a mountain of paperwork. As I understand it, the leave process goes a little something like this:

1. Fill out paperwork
2. Sit through the “Don’t kill your family” briefing
3. Sit through the “Don’t kill yourself” briefing
4. Sit through the “Don’t run away to Canada” briefing
5. Sit through the “Don’t drink and drive” briefing
6. Sit through the “Don’t beat your wife/husband/children” briefing
7. Fill out more paperwork
8. The Army loses all your paperwork, repeat steps 1-7
9. Go to Camp Liberty to catch flight, turn in weapons, wake up at 0300 and wait on the flight line for someone to call your name when there is a seat available
10. Arrive in Kuwait, turn in body armor, wait in line, find your tent
11. As soon as you find your tent, turn around to go through customs
12. After customs, stand around in a barbed wire pen for someone to call your name
    go to flight line, stand around for someone to call your name
13. Fly to Germany, check in with Army representatives to make sure the Army hasn’t misplaced you
14. Fly to Atlanta, check in with Army representatives
15. Fly to Dulles, check in with Army representatives
16. E-mail various Army people to tell them you didn’t get lost and when you are scheduled to come back

Sounds easy, right? Remember that by the time I get to you I will not have slept in over a day, nor will I have brushed my teeth/washed my hair (that no liquids/gels rule for airplanes now.) I assume that this means you will bring your camera and take exactly 500,000 photos, which you will then have blown up to poster size and display around the house. I am at peace with that… they couldn’t turn out worse than those basic training photos. Oh, I don’t know if they changed it, but the TSA allows families of soldiers returning from military duty to meet us at the gate.

TOP TEN THINGS I MISS:
  10. Real milk
  9. Vegetables that taste like vegetables
  8. Normal smells (snow/grass)
  7. Not wearing a uniform/being able to wear my hair down
  6. Driving a normal car on a normal road
  5. Waking up whenever
  4. My cat
  3. Family/friends
  2. Feeling safe
  1. Freedom of speech  

From a daughter serving in the U.S. Army in Iraq.