Treating Political Correctness
by Edward Daley

Have you ever asked yourself why you sometimes feel obliged to inject painfully obvious statements into your debates with liberals? Here's what I mean.

Suppose you're arguing in favor of criminal profiling at airports with a radical leftist, and you're making the point that most international terrorist groups are comprised of Muslim men between the ages of 18 and 40. Immediately following that statement you find yourself saying something like: "Of course, that doesn't mean that ALL Muslim men in that age group are terrorists." You mention this even though you know that the little voice in the back of your mind is about to say: "No Sh**, Sherlock! Did you figure that out all by yourself, or did you have to consult a five-year-old first?"

Sound familiar?

I recently caught myself engaging in this very same sort of behavior, while trying to convince a liberal that stopping the flow of illegal aliens into our country is a necessary prerequisite to all other immigration reform measures. I related that before you can put a cast on an arm with a compound fracture, you first need to stop the bleeding, or the patient will die in spite of your best efforts. I stated that the U.S. is hemorrhaging resources like a stuck pig in order to accommodate the millions of illegal immigrants who've entered our country in recent decades, and that the influx of these people must be halted before the drain on our economy becomes too overwhelming for us to deal with. Then, due to what I now recognize as being reflexive conditioning, I said: "That doesn't mean I'm against LEGAL immigration, mind you."

The first thing the little voice in my head had to say upon hearing that remark was: "Hey buddy, you'd better hurry up... it's 'Chutes-and-Ladders' night at the happy-home, and you're running late." Indeed, I had walked right into that one, and all I could say to my inner-voice in response was: "Sorry... I don't know WHAT I was thinking."

After the initial wave of embarrassment had passed, it occurred to me, why I'd said so superfluous a thing. If I hadn't distinguished between  the words legal and illegal when I did, my liberal adversary would have started lecturing me (in that wholly condescending way that only liberals can) on the fact that my ancestors had been immigrants, that immigrants like them built this country, and that immigration... blah blah blah... yada yada yada...

At that moment I felt as if the mere act of engaging him in conversation was draining me of my common sense. It was like some ravenous, IQ-sucking tapeworm had been released into my cerebral cortex, causing me to blurt out redundant phrases in much the same way that a Tourette's syndrome sufferer shrieks obscenities... suddenly, and for reasons undetectable by the casual observer.

Shortly thereafter the concept of 'Obligatory Political Correctness Syndrome' was born.

Like 'Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder' (ADHD), the term 'Obligatory Political Correctness Syndrome' (OPCS) is indicative of objectionable behavioral trends prevalent in modern American society. However, it is conservative-specific and it is not treatable with Ridalin, Adderall, or any other FDA-approved drug.

Nevertheless, a cure is now at hand!

Having recognized the warning signs of OPCS early, I took immediate measures to rid myself of its disabling effects, and so can you. Yes  dear friends, there is hope for each and everyone of you out there who  still suffer from this most insidious disorder, and I encourage all who  read this article to share it with as many conservatives as humanly  possible.

The four-step process for combating OPCS is as follows:

Step One - Read the book 'Muzzled' by Michael Smerconish. This volume really kicks political correctness and will help you to get your mind geared correctly as you continue along the  path to a pc-free life.

Step Two - Listen regularly to conservative talk radio programs. No undertaking I can think of will better reinforce the lessons you learn from the previous step.

Step Three - Practice discussing the issues described in the opening paragraphs of this column with a fellow conservative, but ask him to pretend that he's a liberal.

Step Four - Avoid liberals like the plague for at least 6 months.

Some may need added assistance along the way, and anyone who does not feel that they can overcome this dreaded affliction all by himself is encouraged to call the OPCS support line at the following toll-free number:

Edward L. Daley is Founder of the Conservative Convention 2007 Project http://cc2007.us