Apology to al-Zarqawi
by Diane Forrest
 How are we Americans to respond to the death of a terrorist? Answer: Guilt, utter and total guilt.
At least that is the answer provided by the leftist media. Before Zarqawi's body even had a chance to stop smoldering from a thousand pounds of explosives dropped on him, members of the press were asking if joyous celebrations were the proper response. Apparently grief and bereavement were more in order.
Therefore, I consider it a matter of conscience that we offer as a nation a letter of apology to Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the terrorist (a.k.a. misunderstood chap) that our country after all created.
Gentle Sir:
I am grieved upon hearing of your untimely demise, but I feel it is my obligation to take this opportunity to openly apologize for the behavior of our nation. Your death is obviously another consequence of freedom run amok, democracy in action.
I must apologize for the excessive use of force upon your safe house. Reminiscent of the atrocities visited upon Japan during World War II, our lone superpower military found it necessary to drop not one but two bombs. Of course they say they are ultimately saving more innocent lives, ending a chapter of the conflict, and insuring a completed job, but those are no excuses. The first bomb would have been sufficient, the second was just an insult to your decency.
I must apologize for the brazen display of the photographs taken of your corpse, a display which violates the rights granted to you by the Geneva Convention. While I personally am not aware of exactly how this violates the Geneva Convention, Al Jazeera reported it as such, therefore it must be true. Perhaps it is found in a "cultural tolerance" clause that forbids still shots of corpses but allows videos of beheadings.
I must apologize for the violation of your freedom of expression. Our attempts to provide humanitarian aid and to prevent women from receiving public beatings, though important, are only secondary to your artistic outlet. During your aesthetic displays of death, if only you had also permitted some nudity or acts of sodomy. Perhaps then the National Endowment for the Arts would have given you a grant. Even now, one can almost picture your name and your work in lights, "Al Zarqawi: Sawed Off". Oh, what could have been!
I must apologize for the invasion of your right to privacy. Wearing your black hood was no example of your cowardice. On the contrary, it was an obvious rebellion against our imperialist encroachment upon you. The sensitive among us understand that.
I must apologize for the insults hurled upon Mohammed. Any country that took part should have received economic sanctions and immediate restrictions in foreign aid. We should demonstrate by example that religious intolerance is simply unacceptable. Perhaps that would get through the thick skulls of self-righteous fundamentalist Christians.
I must apologize for not approaching you with a desire to understand our fault at making you angry. You were obviously just a child left behind who only needed a timeout and medication for your undiagnosed ADD. Would that our nation, always quick to punish, instead pursued a diplomatic resolution with many reassuring hugs and courses in self-esteem.
Finally, I must apologize for our stripping away your right to choose while at the same time imposing freedom upon those around you. We fought to give Iraqi citizens the right to vote while taking away your right to blow them up at the polling places. Oh, the stench of hypocrisy is upon us!
It may be debated by some as to whether our presence in Iraq has led to the numerous deaths that have occurred in these many months, but there is no question, sir, that our presence there has led to yours. I would apologize for violating your right to life, but we have spent too many years trying to convince people in this country that that right does not exist.
My deepest regrets.
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