Teens
Listen
by Dr. Warren Throckmorton
 In
1988, George Michael won a Grammy award for his album Faith. This
disc featured sexually graphic songs, the most controversial being
“I Want Your Sex.” Apparently teens were listening to
Mr. Michael. That same year, the Centers for Disease Control surveyed
teens and learned that 50 percent of males and 37 percent of females
aged 15-17 had gotten sex sometime during their short lifetime.
While a generation of teens was learning to just say no to drugs
during the 1980s, many of them were saying yes to sex.
Now
comes the same CDC reporting on a new bunch of teens and the findings
are encouraging. Amid the current maelstrom that is the public and
political debate over sexual education in the schools, the CDC released
a report showing a significant decline in the numbers of adolescents
who have ever had intercourse. Among teens aged 15-17 only 30 percent
of females and 31 percent of males reported engaging in sexual relations
in their lifetime. These numbers collected in 2002 were down from
1995 when 38 percent of girls and 43 percent of boys reported sexual
relations. At least for males, there is a significant downward trend
from the days of “I Want Your Sex.”
Pundits
and experts reacting to these results have unfortunately divided
along ideological lines. Those favoring contraceptive based sexual
education programs point out another finding of the CDC report:
condom usage among those having sex is on the rise. Eight out of
10 teens who are sexually active are using contraception. So apparently
these programs are having some impact. Abstinence only proponents
are quick to point out that abstinence programming is apparently
also getting results.
So
who is right?
I suspect
both groups can claim some credit. While I favor abstinence programming
in educational settings, my reading of the research tells me that
when adults teach that contraception is a good idea, teens listen.
Perhaps there is a clue there for those on both sides to examine.
If you missed it, let me elaborate.
Teens
listen.
Not
all teens of course, but apparently many do. In fact, it appears
from the new survey, even many adolescent males can cut through
the hormonal haze and actually reflect upon their choices before
they act. I think this is a crucial observation. Having established
that teens listen, it is critically important to ask: what should
we tell them?
First,
we should make sure these research results are made widely known.
Despite the message of MTV and network television programs, everybody
is not “doing it.” Less than one-third of teens are
having sex before they reach age 18. Spreading this message puts
peer pressure back in the hands of teens who encourage self-control
and self-respect.
Second,
early sex is not usually “good sex” or even “safe
sex.” Of those teens who do have sex, a significant majority
report dissatisfaction and disappointment with the experience. Especially
for teen girls, “safer sex” is not often emotionally
safe. In fact, when asked, the vast majority of girls who are sexually
experienced say they wished they would have waited. According to
a 2000 poll conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy,
nearly two-thirds of teens who had initiated sexual activity said
they wished they would have delayed their decision. Among girls,
the results were striking: 72 percent of girls wished they would
have waited.
Third,
policy makers should not be intimidated by those who say teens won’t
abstain. We now know there are good scientific reasons to abandon
moral neutrality in sex education. Teens will abstain if they are
given good reasons to do so. Furthermore, in the recent CDC research,
nearly 40 percent of teens said they avoided sex because of religious
reasons. There are two important lessons here. One is that faith
based initiatives are reaching this important subset of teens; and
the second is that multiple exposure to information (abstinence)
across multiple settings (home, school and worship center) presents
a consistent message that is being heard.
Fourth,
delaying sexual behavior until marriage seems to be a prescription
for long term sexual fulfillment. This is in direct contrast to
the values left over from the “free love” era that freedom
and sex combine to produce the deepest form of sexual satisfaction.
Teens need to now that sexual adjustment is highest for those in
married, monogamous relationships. Not all teens will wait until
marriage but it appears that those who do are not being cheated
out of anything.
Of
course not all teens are going to agree with or pay attention to
the advice given in abstinence only health education. The vast majority
of these teens are using contraception. This highlights a point
for the grown-ups in the sex education discussion: if teens are
clearly listening to us, why can’t we listen to the data and
work together to better prepare the next generation?
Answering
this last question will determine what teens hear from health educators
and parents. The choice is not insignificant. As a culture, do we
want to see teens delaying sexual involvement even longer? Do we
want to see those percentages of sexually active teens drop more?
Do we want those who are sexually active to know the consequences
of their choices? Then we must tell them what we know.
They
are listening.
Warren
Throckmorton is director of college counseling and an associate
professor of psychology at Grove City College. His research "Initial
Empirical and Clinical Findings Concerning the Change Process for
Ex-Gays," was published in the June 2002 issue of the American
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