| Taking
the Magic Pill
by Kerry Marsala
America's
children are exploding emotionally. What are we as their parents
going to do?
There
are sixth graders having sex before they can possibly comprehend
the consequences. There are seventh grade students lying in hospital
beds after a Wednesday morning "cat fight" at a local
Jr. High School. First graders lash out in anger at their teachers.
Police officers are called in because fourth grade students are
threatening their teachers with physical harm. Jr. Highs are practicing
lockdowns as routinely as fire drills. High Schools have weapons
and narcotic shakedowns on a regular basis to keep the students
under control. Almost every campus in America-- from High School
down to grade school -- have police officers patrolling their campuses,
ticking their walks to the beat of our school time clocks.
As
the teachers try to schedule conferences with the student's parents
for thenew year, the reasons for our problems become clear. The
rising number of parents who don't show interest in their children's
academic achievements or needs have quadrupled. These children are
falling quickly through the cracks and are being sucked down the
abyss of, "No one cares about me, so why in the world should
I care?" When a teacher calls repeatedly to meet with the parents
or a parent, and the line of communication finally opens -- the
answer from the parents is, "I've done what I can, it's your
turn to fix them." Many times the answer is "Well, I'll
ask their doctor if we can just up their meds, then they'll behave
better."
Fortunately
we still have parents who are raising their children in stable,
nurturing homes. They discipline their children with love, help
them with their homework, back up the teacher's request to help
their child excel, take them to social activities and monitor their
friendships. The children of these parents are doing the best they
can to help grow strong adults, but these children are mixed in
with a growing majority of time bombs -- labeled "troubled
students." Plus, depending on what part of the country you
live in, throw into this mixture of problem students' those who
cannot speak English.
With
28% of our children under the age of 18 as of 1999 living in single
parent homes, our society has created an atmosphere more often than
not that fosters chaos and stress. This is not to say there are
not many single parents doing their jobs, some better than two parent
ones, but the general mirror is a reflection on how many of us as
parents are behaving abhorrently. A group of Oregon scholars recently
divulged in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing
that not only are the risks for mental and emotional disorders increasing,
but the number of public age school children at risk for mental
and socioemotional outcomes, is alarming. When the studies compared
single parent homes to their married peers, single parent homes
were likely to report much higher levels of stress. This study showed
that children who are now developing multiple mental health conditions
are now carrying them to school. At times there's no single parent;
at times there's no parent at all. The Oregon scholars found six
percent of children under the age of eighteen in grandparent-headed
households. These grandparents are doing their best to respond to
the problems of this parentless generation, but many of these grandparents
are often single are more likely to live in poverty.
We
know that at times some children and adults aren't wired right and
they need the help of medicines so they might have the balance to
"reconnect" or restore the working of the brains neurons
correctly. But it would seem that pill popping our children because
we can't cope with being parents has become the 21st century cure
all for discipline. I don't have the time to spank Johnny when he
needs it. I don't have the time to sit and help Samantha with her
homework. I don’t have the time to meet Scott's new friend
from school, so he'll just have to go it alone. I don't have time
to shop with my daughter, Sheila, so I just give her my credit card
and trust her judgement. I, I, I,...it's all about "I don't
have the time..." or maybe better yet -- I am just too selfish
and I don't deserve these precious gifts that were given to me.
Self-centered and parenthood seem to go hand in hand in today's
society, so just give my kid a magic pill would you?
What
do you think these lost children of today are going to do without
a loving caregiver? How can we as parents expect anything out of
our youth today when we won't invest in them? We'll invest in stocks,
plastic surgeries, manicures, dye jobs, shopping excursions, career
climbing, sports cars, oversized houses, but we won't invest in
our children. We won't invest in the most important production we
decide to create. Could it be possible that in order to have overall
academic success as well as emotional health that we need to return
to marital and family commitments? With a return to stability in
the home, where mother and father work together as a unit, could
we resolve the explosion of mental and behavioral problems were
are seeing in today's youth?
K
L. Marsala is a commentator on social, cultural and political ideologies.
She is co-publisher of Sarah's Seed Journal and has published one
book, with number two waiting in the wings.
Ms.
Marsala holds a master's degree in ancient history and Biblical
studies. She is currently working on her degree in bio-ethics and
political science. You can visit her web-site for archived and current
articles: http://www.right2think.8m.com
Email
the Editor
|
